Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This baby is an asshole
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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