It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
