Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize