By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
