I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
