I wannas sexs uuuuu
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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