he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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