4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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