I'm gonna have a badass scar
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
