I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
