everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
