it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
