You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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