I CAN MOONWALK!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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