i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Oh god it's open bar.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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