I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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