You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
