We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
