WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
