i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
