I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
