I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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