so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
