Will you blow on my dice?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
