Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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