where am i from again
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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