The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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