I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Randomize
