I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
