you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
