Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Small penises have feelings too.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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