I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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