Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
