...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
