Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
