yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
