ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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