Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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