I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize