One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
