I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
