She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My balls are so social today.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
