When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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