Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
