That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
