I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm really busy with my period
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