Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
