did you get engaged???
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
