East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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