that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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