I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
