I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize