Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
