just got booed by the entire restaurant.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
