you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
