Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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