I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
