Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
