are you so shy because you have an std?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
