fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
