weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
it's like iHOP with fire
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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