Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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