I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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