fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
