If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
